In A World Of Your Own

This is the world's most stubborn person.






Commuting is a drag, but a necessary evil for those of us in Suburbia. But when you do it on a daily basis, you develop a certain rhythm. You know where to stand on line, where to sit on the bus, stuff like that. The occasional family will come along on a day trip into the City and you have to tolerate them. But then you get guys like this.

It was tight at the top of the stairs. It always is. But the line for the 194 bus is on the right. The line for the 193 is on the left. This is pretty clear because everyone knows where to stand, even the tourists. But then this guy came along.

He stood at the top of the stairs, right in the middle of the two lines. Okay, maybe he didn't know where to stand. But when more and more people approached him to ask which line was was on, he told them he was waiting for the 194, thus forcing everyone to walk around him. A small step to the right would have cleared it all up. But no, this guy was comfortable where he was.

I hate people.

What's In A Name?

I love surveys because they're perfect for the nation as lazy and the United States. At a glance, you can get all the information you want and not have to waste time with relevant facts, like how many people were surveyed or something. Nope, thanks to USA Today, a few lines and a cute picture tell us all we need to know. And because it's in the form of a survey, it must be important and accurate.

I came across one of these fascinating surveys in a trade magazine last month. According to the headline of this doozy, Toys "R" Us is tops with young kids. Just looking at that headline, I figured that kids have chosen Toys "R" Us over Wal Mart or Target or something. But what's the real news here?

Reading further into the survey, I learned that nearly 50% of the kids 6-8 years old chose Toys "R" Us as the best place to purchase a holiday gift. But when the kids are 9-11, that number drops to 22%.

I wonder how much time and money was spent on a survey that said that nearly half of the thousands of kids aged 6-8 said the best place to buy a TOY was at a place with the word TOY in its name. Huh. Where's the survey that says that says that kids prefer the International House Of Pancakes for pancakes?

Jeez, I'm in the wrong profession.

Vote Early and Often!!!

Did you know that there is something out there called the Weblog Awards? Me neither, but I'm really not surprised. According to their website, the Weblog Awards are the world's largest blog competition, with over 525,000 votes cast in the 2006 edition for finalists in 45 categories. Nominations for 49 categories ended October 17, 2007 and voting is scheduled to begin November 1, 2007. Final results will be announced November 8, 2007 at the BlogWorld & New Media Expo in Las Vegas.

Pretty impressive. Anyway, I'd like to call your attention to The Nose On Your Face. This site for political and cultural satire is coauthored by my good friend and fellow blogger Potfry, is in the finals for Funniest Blog, and you can vote. Click here and choose The Nose On Your Face. Yeah, there are others nominated as well but are you really going to waste your time reading all of them or are you going to take my word for it? Well, after you finish reading all of them, you can still vote for The Nose On Your Face.

Thank you.

We Need A Sharpton

He's loud. Bombastic. Obnoxious. Reviled. But he gets the job done. The size of his mouth and the volume of his voice instills fear into those with whim he disagrees, and his threats make people do his bidding to the point where we're all afraid to mutter "the 'n' word". Of course, he's a raging hypocrite and only stands up for things that will get him the most press. Beyond that, he's silent.

Being a member of the media (sort of), I'm reluctant to point the blame in my direction. But the hypocrisy coming from the media tends to be unreal. Case in point: the latest Ann Coulter nonsense. She's one of these conservative loudmouths who will spew anything she wants from her confused mind and dismisses those who disagree with her as moronic liberals. Heaven forbid someone dares call her on her stupidity. But the latest thing goes beyond reason.

Coulter appeared on The Big Idea with Donnie Deutsch the other day and revealed a side of her which shouldn't surprise me, but does anyway. You can read a partial transcript of her interview here or watch the interview here. Or hell, just read it here:

DEUTSCH: Let me ask you a question. We're going to get off strengths and weakness for a second. If you had your way, and all of your - forget that any of them -

COULTER: I like this.

DEUTSCH: - are calculated marketing teases, and your dreams, which are genuine, came true having to do with immigration, having to do with women's - with abortion - what would this country look like?

COULTER: UMMMMM (pause) ... It would look like New York City during the Republican National Convention. In fact, that's what I think heaven is going to look like.

DEUTSCH: And what did that look like?

COULTER: Happy, joyful Republicans in the greatest city in the world…

Break

COULTER: Well, OK, take the Republican National Convention. People were happy. They're Christian. They're tolerant. They defend America, they -

DEUTSCH: Christian - so we should be Christian? It would be better if we were all Christian?

COULTER: Yes.

DEUTSCH: We should all be Christian?

COULTER: Yes. Would you like to come to church with me, Donny?

DEUTSCH: So I should not be a Jew, I should be a Christian, and this would be a better place?

COULTER: Well, you could be a practicing Jew, but you're not.
DEUTSCH: I actually am…

Break

DEUTSCH: That isn't what I said, but you said I should not - we should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians, then, or -

COULTER: Yeah.

DEUTSCH: Really?

COULTER: Well, it's a lot easier. It's kind of a fast track.

DEUTSCH: Really?

COULTER: Yeah. You have to obey.

DEUTSCH: You can't possibly believe that.

COULTER: Yes….

Break

COULTER: No, we think - we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.
DEUTSCH: Wow, you didn't really say that, did you?

COULTER: Yes. That is what Christianity is. We believe the Old Testament, but ours is more like Federal Express. You have to obey laws. We know we're all sinners -

DEUTSCH: In my old days, I would have argued - when you say something absurd like that, there's no -

COULTER: What's absurd?

DEUTSCH: Jews are going to be perfected. I'm going to go off and try to perfect myself -

COULTER: Well, that's what the New Testament says.

After a commercial break, the conversation continued.

DEUTSCH: Welcome back to "The Big Idea." During the break, Ann said she wanted to explain her last comment. So I'm going to give her a chance. So you don't think that was offensive?

COULTER: No. I'm sorry. It is not intended to be. I don't think you should take it that way, but that is what Christians consider themselves: perfected Jews. We believe the Old Testament. As you know from the Old Testament, God was constantly getting fed up with humans for not being able to, you know, live up to all the laws. What Christians believe - this is just a statement of what the New Testament is - is that that's why Christ came and died for our sins. Christians believe the Old Testament. You don't believe our testament.

DEUTSCH: You said - your exact words were, "Jews need to be perfected." Those are the words out of your mouth.

COULTER: No, I'm saying that's what a Christian is.

DEUTSCH: But that's what you said - don't you see how hateful, how anti-Semitic -

COULTER: No!

DEUTSCH: How do you not see? You're an educated woman. How do you not see that?

COULTER: That isn't hateful at all.

DEUTSCH: But that's even a scarier thought. OK -

COULTER: No, no, no, no, no. I don't want you being offended by this. This is what Christians consider themselves, because our testament is the continuation of your testament. You know that. So we think Jews go to heaven. I mean (Jerry) Falwell himself said that, but you have to follow laws. Ours is "Christ died for our sins." We consider ourselves perfected Christians. For me to say that for you to become a Christian is to become a perfected Christian is not offensive at all.

Stating that Jews need to be perfected and hiding behind the New Testament to defend her view is stunning. Kudos to Deutsch for not letting her off the hook and reacting with the kind of incredulity her statements deserve.

Okay, so she's saying that Jews should be Christian. Even Southern Baptists, who used to publicly state this, have backed away from this stance. But what angers me most isn't her opinion. I vehemently disagree with everything she says anyway. No, what gets to me is the lack of coverage this has received. I only heard about this from a friend and the transcripts came from the widely-read "Editor and Publisher" website. A Google search of "ann coulter perfecting jews" shows many bloggers chiming in about this, but no major network report. One blogger was from ABC. It's not until page 2 that I saw the story from CBS News.

Why is this? Had Don Imus said this, he would have been shot. It would have been major news, the way the "nappy-headed hos" thing was. No, this story seems to have been ignored. And I don't get it. Imus had his career trashed for an offhand comment he made. He apologized but it still wasn't enough for Sharpton and Imus had to be fired. Where's the outrage about Coulter's remarks? Where's the our advocate calling for her immediate dismissal or an all-out boycott of her books? It won't happen because many people realize that few take Ann Coulter as seriously as she thinks they do. She said something stupid and we all realize it us such and are willing to comment and then move on. Sharpton isn't happy until lives are ruined. Has he ever once apologized for the 1987 Tawana Brawley case? No. He just yells and yells and people do his bidding. You have to admit, he's played the game well. People are afraid to publicly disagree with him. Jews need a Sharpton. I guess we had one with Meir Kahane but he was violent. Blacks have Sharpton. The poor and downtrodden from Curtis Sliwa. Who do the Jews have? Jerry Seinfeld?

Let's Break Stuff!

In an effort to my younger fan base, I have decided to let today's post be written by a special guest. So let's all click our mouses for Devon Peterson.

Thanks, stupid.

I love vandalism. It's so much fun getting into the back of Jason's mom's Camry and driving around late at night looking for things to bust up. Give me a can of spray paint, a permanent marker or a bat and it's bye bye mailbox. Or something. Know what's sweetest of all? It's friggin' October, man! And that means Halloween. And that means pumpkins! Candy too, but mostly pumpkins! Some people out in the 'burbs go all out and get scarecrows and ghosts and stuff. And that's when me and my buds go to work.

It's easy to swipe a scarecrow but I like to rip its head off. Or I'll write "BOOOOO" on the porch near a ghost. Because not everyone knows to be scared of a stupid ghost, am I right? But the best of all is smashing pumpkins, and I'm not talking about the lame-ass band. We pull up to some house with lots of pumpkins and and start stomping away or whacking them with bats. The sound they make when they break open is HI-LARIOUS!!!!! Then we run for it.

You think we care that some family spent money on that crap? Or that some stupid kids ran through a pumpkin patch and picked them out all by themselves, barely able to lift them but wanting to get that very one? You think it matters that those cute little kids will wake up in the morning to the sight of their prized pumpkins smashed to bits? Well we don't! Take that! Haw haw! Stupid families with parents and kids and everything.