Thursday, February 08, 2007

The Good News: There Is A G-d. The Bad News: I Have No Psychic Powers.

Commuting, a fact of life for those of us in suburbia, has become difficult for the last few days. Maybe it's because temperatures have dropped to meat locker depths or maybe it's just fate. In any case, I was running late the other night and really needed to get on an E train. Walking along the subway platform, I heard a train coming from behind me. It would be either an E or a V. So I said to myself, "if there's a G-d in heaven, it'll be an E train." And it was. So there's proof that there is a G-d.

The next morning didn't look any better from a commuting standpoint. I slept on the bus so I have no idea why it took so long to get into New York. But descending down to subway level, I was met by a lot of people waiting for the trains. Not a good sign. Delays or something. So I claimed my space on the platform, right where the first door of the fourth car would open. Then something happened that only happens when there's a solar eclipse or some other rare event. Two C trains came back to back. You never see a C train follow another C train. It's just not done. It was followed by an E but it was jammed so I decided to wait for what would surely be a less-crowded E train momentarily. But the next train was an A. This is bad. The A is supposed to be on the other platform. The lineup of the morning:

C, C, E, A, C, A, A, E.

I got on that last E. Crowded but I didn't care anymore. And that's when I noticed my psychic powers were gone. In truth, I never had psychic powers but now I had proof. I spotted Todd and Mark pressed up against the end door of the car ahead of me. I wanted to attract their attention but my choices were to stand between the cars and risk falling to my death or just stare at them, so I stared. There wasn't enough room for grand gestures or anything. I just stared. And I got nothing.

Today, I parked my car in another town and took a completely different bus. Anyone taking bets on whether or not I remember to take the same bus back?