Pretty Fly For A White Guy

This week is Advertising Week, one of the biggest self-congratulatory weeks ever created. I read about a seminar dealing with how to get kids to listen to your ads. I'm always looking for a way to become even more of an advertising genius so I corralled my good friend Michael and we headed to the seminar, all the way downtown, to Tribeca Cinemas. Closer to New Jersey than to my office.

We took the E train to Canal Street and I was feeling pretty confident about getting to the seminar on time. I'm an idiot when it comes to directions but Michael is not only a world traveler, he lives just a few blocks north of here. Yet there we were, literally standing in the middle of, uh, I think it was Lipsenard Street in Manhattan's trendy TriBeCa section. Standing here, I don't see what's trendy about it. Maybe that's what makes it trendy...the fact that no one thinks it's trendy. Beyond the TriBeCa Film Festival (thanks, Robert DeNiro!) and some art galleries, it looks like a part of Manhattan where the effects of gentrification have yet to reach.

Okay, I'm white. I admit it. And I'm not just white in skin color. I have a pretty white personality as well. Sure, I have a black iPod but my Bose speaker is white. I like classic rock, but mostly the white bands. And I like Barry Manilow. I'm a "fanilow". And Michael, while decidedly hipper, is pretty white-looking himself. So we're both actually standing in the middle of the road, turning in circles and looking at a map. We couldn't look more like tourists if we were wearing plaid shorts and black socks.

So what's my point? I'm getting there. Michael and I made our way to a corner when we were approached by 2 black teens. One of them actually had a boom box, which made me wonder if I had crossed into 1983 or something. And one of them says, "hey, you know where the graffiti store is?" The what? "You know, where they sell markers and shit?" Well, we had to apologize for not being able to help them out. I mentioned to Michael that it's probably aiding and abetting if we tell someone where to get the markers they'll use to deface some sort of property.

But always the optimist, Michael said we should be impressed that these two guys actually thought we would know. And he's absolutely right! Despite looking lost and white, we must have been giving off some kind of cool vibe that said, "hey world, we bad. Dat's right. We real bad."

It's good to be relevant again. Peace out.